Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
