she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize