No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just gargled with NyQuil
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
