well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
