guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
