dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
