this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
