hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
