Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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