New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
