bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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