New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
