ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
