Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
