I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
This is my gift to your gina
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
