I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Help me help you realize you are a moron
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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