i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
