so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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