I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
