We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
