then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
