I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
