About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
