you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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