Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
