its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
