is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
