It's Friday. Sex?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
