Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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