You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
