I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
