I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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