I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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