RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
