I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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