they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
