Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
