He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize