i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
