haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
