just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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