either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
