yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
