i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Randomize
