Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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