Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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