Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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