The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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