I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
It's just like the Real World with babies
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
