You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I have aggressive nipples.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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