I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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