I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
