just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
