it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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