Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
