How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize