It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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