I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
