Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize