hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
