thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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