Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
