I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
its not stalking. its research.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
