I'm drive I can fine osifer
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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